Tonight I caught a wave as sadness as I sat down to eat my dinner. My fathers side of the family usually celebrates Easter, making it into a celebration centered around food and connection. This year instead of being around those I love, I cooked myself a batch of perogies and settled in to watch a YouTube video from my witchy hero Kelly-Ann Maddox. First, it started with a reminiscent memory, and then I began to dive head first into feelings of loneliness and guilt.
So, I thought, amidst all of the coronavirus happenings there must be people who feel the same as I do. In fact there are seniors who probably feel like this without the virus. There are people who have lost family members, and who are working through amounts of grief that I will never know. Humbly, I offer this to everyone struggling to get through a holiday/social distancing.
Managing Expectations: It’s pretty damn easy to start thinking that because a holiday isn’t perfect that it’s our fault. This can come from years of family dynamic issues, caregiver tendencies, and people pleasing, and honestly… it takes a lot of work to get through all of that and into a place of radical self-love, but it can be done. We must begin by recognizing that it is not our responsibility to make everyone happy, it’s theirs. Even more so during the time of coronavirus, nothing is going to be perfect, and perfect doesn’t even exist anyway. Feel through your emotions and start by seeing what you can do in the moment to bring a little joy into your day however you can.
Reach Out: Reaching out to others is important, and a lot of how we operate as human beings has to do with connection, whether we want to admit it or not. Even though we can’t reach out to physically visit our friends and family, we can still text, call, and video chat with them. Love comes in various forms and can be felt through all outlets.
Create Other Connections: Building other relationships is a great way to grow in happiness and purpose. It gives you a whole other group of people to talk with, share with, and grow with. Find online communities that feel right for you, start talking about the things you’re passionate about, and soon the relationships will be built. Long-term friendships and professional relationships can be built through social media, it’s all about finding the people you vibe with.
Get Creative: It is the perfect time for starting a creative outlet. It doesn’t matter if you don’t feel very creative, or you haven’t picked up a paintbrush in years, self-expression through tough times is the breeding ground of kick-ass art. What calls to you? Painting, writing, collage, gardening, building… whatever it is don’t let self-doubt or insecurity win by stopping you from starting, this isn’t about creating a masterpiece, it’s about expressing what you’re feeling, getting lost in the moment, and shaking off all of that emotional sludge. You are full of creative abundance.
Find Some Blessings: Even in the darkest times you can find one thing to be grateful for. That’s all it takes, just one thing, and then it will snowball from there. Make a game of it, find the smallest thing and the biggest thing that you can be grateful for in the here an now.
24 Hours: Yep, that’s right, 24 hours is all it takes. If you’re having a particularly challenging time with the day, you may be able to find some hope in the fact that a new day with a fresh start comes along every 24 hours. Put on a movie, brew a cup of tea, eat the junk food if it’s calling to you. Do whatever you have to do in order to make it through the 24 hour period. You are strong, resilient, and you can f*cking do it.
It is my hope that somehow in this small little post you found a spark of inspiration, a glimmer of hope, a creative idea, or at the very least it kept your brain busy for a few moments. If you need to reach out to me you can do so via any of my social platforms. I’m wishing you nothing but love during these wonky times.