With the passing of Mac Miller two days ago, September 7th, Ariana Grande shared a simple but heart felt image of Mac, who had a song titled “Self Care”.
In this post I’m not going to get into drug use or addiction, as many of you know I have had my own struggles overcoming alcoholism.
What I am going to talk about is the amount of self care Ariana Grande practiced in the last two years and why it’s so damn important.
First I’d like to go on record and say yes I think Mac Miller’s death is tragic, he will be missed and so will his talent. It’s never okay when someone dies, it always hurts and in cases like Mac’s you wonder what might have been.
But, there has been so much backlash towards Ariana about his passing that I’d like to touch on a few key points. Hate me if you want but someone needs to say it.
If anyone chooses to leave a toxic relationship that is their RIGHT to do so. We cannot be held accountable for someone elses actions, no matter how tragic, when our own actions are to keep us safe, healthy and happy.
Since when is it okay to force a woman to stay in a toxic relationship?
Is this what we are accepting now? …
Making the decision to leave a toxic relationship IS a form of self care and it MATTERS. Staying in a toxic relationship will only ruin two people at the same time. There are no advantages to staying.
It is not Ariana’s fault that Mac Miller got charged with a DUI, had a substance abuse problem for years and has now passed away.
What was going on before they got together, during and after they seperated in terms of Mac’s substance abuse was not Ariana’s fault.
Addiction is a bitch.
It will take your family, friends, house, relationship and eventually your life.
To blame anyone is to completely miss the point.
Let’s think about the fact that all breakups are hard. Walking away from someone who isn’t good for you, even if you love the crap out of them, is completely heartbreaking.
It takes a strong person to say … “I love you, but I love me more.”
We should recognize the human side of ourselves that can relate to this because I’m sure every one of us has either had our hearts broken, had to set boundaries or had to walk away from someone who wasn’t right for us no matter how hard we tried.
Staying in a relationship where you aren’t happy, safe or respected in the hopes of saving the other person means completely ignoring what you need.
Standing up and doing what is right for you is always YOUR first priority. There are women in shitty relationships right now who need to hear that it is okay to leave. They need to hear that whatever their partner chooses to do after they leave is not their fault.
They need to hear that they are WORTH it.
Like I’ve said in previous posts the truth about self -care is that it’s messy, challenging, and you’re sometimes not sure if your doing it right.
When you walk away from anyone toxic you have doubts, insecurities and fears. Imagine what it would feel like to practice self-care and then have something like this happen. It would be devastating. Right now Ariana needs to practice self-care even more so.
I’m not blaming her and honestly I don’t think anyone else should be either.
I’m not bashing Mac, like I said I loved his music.
What I’m saying is self-care looks different for everybody but when I recognize someone making tough decisions for themselves and then the world responding in such a shitty way….I’m going to say something.
If you’ve ever left a relationship for whatever reason then you must have a little empathy.
To all of us strong, capable women out there,
I see you and I’m with you.